


no time left

by Space_Samurai



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:46:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_Samurai/pseuds/Space_Samurai
Summary: Everyone is born with a countdown on their forearm. It tells how long their soulmate has left to live.When Rey is six she learns how to count and thus, she learns that her soulmate only has fourteen years left to live.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 30
Kudos: 126





	no time left

**Author's Note:**

> TW: mention of child-death and suicide, neither from Reylo.

As a child, she doesn’t care.

Rey is not even certain _she_ will get to live fourteen years. The number feels long and meaningless, much like her days under the sun. They blend together, only her marks on the wall prove the time passes on Jakku.

She is too busy protecting herself and her scavenged goods to spare much thought to this individual she’s yet to know. She would like to have her parents back, rather than meeting her soulmate.

She doesn’t understand the pitying eyes of the woman who explained her what the countdown on her forearm means. For a child who has lived so little and won’t likely live much long, fourteen years feel like an eternity.

At the tender age of six, her thoughts lean towards food and water, not to romance.

.

At ten, when the countdown on her arm marks that her soulmate has ten years left, Rey begins to understand what a soulmate is.

There are few humans on Jakku, and fewer who have met their other halves, but they exist. Rey sees them when she goes to Unkar Plutt’s tent to exchange her parts for portions.

Life in Jakku is harsh and dangerous, no one is to be trusted. Rey learned it the hard way. These individuals, however, seem to trust each other well enough. She observes how the man gives the woman the last drops of water on his canteen, nothing but dryness in her own throat and envy on her heart.

They share their portions and live together, they fight other scavengers and take their loot.

 _Soulmate_ ceases to be an abstract concept, now she can attach it to other words she knows: partner, protector, _equal._

For a while, her thoughts stray away from her parents and her next meal, and Rey starts to wonder how her other half is like.

She doesn’t actively look for them, but she thinks of them often. She can’t spare them her time, which is put to keep herself alive, but her mind she can. She tries to imagine them, how they look like, what they are like.

One day, as she refills her canteen on the Outpost, Rey sees the scavenger-couple she has become familiar with. They don’t know her and she doesn’t know them, but Rey has stared from afar until their faces were easy to remember.

The woman, who covers herself from the sun as much as Rey does, looks different. Her face is rounder, she glows with life. That is strange. When she moves from the counter, Rey sees the roundness isn’t only on her face, but in her stomach.

Her own turns at the thought of catching sandworms, but the woman caresses it with… Fondness? Love?

Rey asks one of the old women at the cleaning station if she knows what’s wrong with her. The toothless woman laughs at her ignorance.

“She’s carrying a baby, like happabores carry their calves.” She told Rey, who frowned in confusion.

“Where did she find a baby?”

“Her man gave it to her.” Then she cocked her head to the side. “I’ll tell you how for a gulp of your water.” Rey’s hands wrapped around it protectively, but ultimately her curiosity won. Once the woman had her drink, she proceeded to explain how the woman got her baby.

Rey wouldn’t forget it any time soon, both horrified and slightly nauseous.

“It was a stupid thing to do,” the old woman said before Rey left.

“Why?”

“Children don’t live for long on Jakku. And their mothers are soon to follow them.”

She proved herself right when, a few months later, the scavenger couple went to the Outpost with sunken eyes and hollowed cheeks. No baby or belly that Rey could see. Time later, the woman passed in the night. An infection, others commented. Not long after the man disappeared.

Broken boned in the inside of a wreckage, that’s how they found him. He fell while scavenging, others said.

 _That man killed himself_ , the old woman tells Rey.

Rey associates soulmate with another word: _death_.

.

When she is fourteen, Rey bleeds from between her legs and fears she might be dying.

There are no healers or med-droids in Jakku. There’s people with questionable knowledge and Rey is more terrified of what they might say than of what she might have.

The toothless woman is always on the same place. Cleaning the dust and sand from the parts Plutt gives her. She had known what was wrong with the scavenger back on then. Rey trusts no one, but her words are as good as they come.

Mercifully, she doesn’t take Rey’s water this time, nor her portions. One look at her blood-stained crotch and she knows what’s wrong.

“I’m surprised you bleed at all. You are such a skinny thing.” The woman herself is barely skin and bones. So are most in the planet. “Mine came late and stopped early, such is the life here.”

Rey refuses to show fear. “What does it mean?”

“It means you can carry a child.” Her thoughts went to the woman and her soulmate. _Death._ “Though I wouldn’t do it if I were you.”

“I won’t.” She can’t die if she wants to see her parents again. They could come for her any day. “How do I stop it?”

“You can’t. Your body will do it for you. Wear a rag for the blood and wash the stains, you are letting everyone know you are a _healthy_ woman.”

Rey didn’t feel healthy. More often than not she felt lightheaded and tired, but she understood the danger of others knowing she was a woman, not a girl anymore. What the scavenger woman had given her soulmate could be taken forcefully or be bought by others. Rey had seen the skin girls, some had approached her to join them; she had run to her AT-AT home.

People did it for pleasure, regardless of being soulmates or not. Rey didn’t think she could ever trust anyone with her body, even if she could use the extra portions. She wondered where her soulmate was and if they were doing _that_ kind of stuff.

Would they ask it from her when they finally met? The thought brings an unknown twist to her stomach and an odd warmth, interrupting the painful cramps.

If people do it for pleasure it can’t be that bad, she decides.

She removes the white arm wrap to see the numbers in her skin. _Six years_. Now that she has lived to see fourteen, six doesn’t feel that much –though any amount of time in Jakku feels too much.

 _Hurry_ , she urges whoever is out there. _We don’t have so long left._

.

Rey dreams of brown eyes, who look at her gently.

Nothing about her life is gentle or soft, and she wouldn’t mind a bit of kindness.

.

Rey starts to wish time went slower, for the first time in her life, when her mark signals they only have two years left.

She hasn’t bled many times after the first, but she has grown taller and stronger. She has accomplished the feat of surviving until adulthood on Jakku. An adult by galactic standards, because Rey doesn’t feel much different from the girl she was two or three years ago.

A conflict has stirred within her. She _knows_ she must wait for her parents, but a part of her urges her to go out and search for the one meant for her. Where are they? Why hasn’t she met them yet?

She begins to fear that they might die without ever meeting her. Was such thing possible? Rey knew little about soulmates, only that she’d _know_ once she saw them and that their fate was written in her skin.

Another year, she thinks. If she hasn’t found them in a year, she’ll find a way out of Jakku and look for them herself.

.

Rey doesn’t find a way out of Jakku; a way out of Jakku finds _her_ , in the form of a droid.

.

The former Stormtrooper, Finn, tells her about his soulmate. The ship had gone down with him not a day ago, but Finn doesn’t fear, he _knows_ he lives.

“And he has about fifty-two years more to live. Not bad huh?” His smile is contagious and Rey can’t help but being happy for him.

“Has he told you yours?” She wonders if this is a rude thing to ask, but she has never interacted this much with other humans and the curiosity is overwhelming.

“I forgot to ask,” he rubbed his neck. “But everyone knows soulmates live more or less the same. You can’t survive for long without them.”

Rey thinks of the man with haunted eyes, dead at the wreckage. The mark in her arms tells that her soulmate has a year left.

“How do you know so much about this?”

A blush covers his cheeks. “Mostly rumors. They didn’t want us to meet our soulmates. That’s why we almost never removed the masks and why they made us wear long-sleeved uniform.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“It was. What about you?” He gestured at her covered arm.

“I haven’t met them yet.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will soon. There’s a lot of people in the base, you might find them there.”

A doomed rebel and a scavenger, what a pair they’d make.

.

She meets a hero with sad eyes, who won’t take out his jacket nor show his arm. He has grey hair and a wrinkled face. She wonders if _her_ time is near. He won’t tell.

.

Takodana is green and alive.

Apparently she is more than just a scavenger and her mark pulses as a masked creature chases her through the forest.

.

The mask goes away when she taunts him.

Her other half is a monster. A monster who won’t live much longer.

The tears in her eyes are not there because of the invasion of her mind.

He tries to go on as if the discovery doesn’t affect him, but it obviously does. His hand trembles when it stops next to her face.

When she looks for his fears, she finds her death hidden there.

_The only person who is meant for him will leave him—_

He breaks them apart before she can see her time. He doesn’t ask for his.

.

Han dies. Through the grief, she wonders if he knew.

She wonders if Leia knew.

She knows she did.

.

She slashes his face.

Now he wears two of her marks, she thinks deliriously.

.

The Jedi lived without soulmates.

“They burned their marks when they became masters. Nothing will lead you to fear as much as knowing how much time your soulmate has left.”

“But your father didn’t.” Rey guessed.

“And it drove him mad.” Her eyes avoided his mark, which was no longer there. “The dark-siders have tried to cheat destiny many times… learning things forbidden.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

“Is there a way to keep your soulmate from dying?”

Luke’s eyes went to her forearm, carefully hidden by fabric.

“There isn’t, and you’ll drive yourself to the dark by trying.”

If the most powerful Jedi hadn't been able to avoid destiny, then neither could she.

.

He doesn’t have a shirt on.

She refuses to stare at anything but his face, now healed from their duel. She doesn’t even think about looking at his right forearm, where her fate is written.

“Let the past die,” he urges her. Her mark burns. “That’s the only way to become what you’re meant to be.”

 _And what is that?_ She means to ask, but then he’s gone.

.

“I had never felt so alone before.” She tells him, knowing he’ll understand.

The fire warms her. She looks at him, wanting to touch his face, run her hands through his hair. She wonders if she can do that.

“You are not alone,” he assures her, eyes hopeful.

“Neither are you.” She extends her hand slowly. He takes his glove off before doing the same. 

When their palms touch, she breathes shakily. Every grief and joy he has ever felt goes through her in a rush. She wants to hold him, shake his arms and convince him to leave his master while he still can.

She would’ve reached out, touched his cheek with her other hand if the hut hadn’t fallen apart.

.

 _At least he won’t die today_ , she thinks as he stands before her and Snoke commands him to kill her.

Snoke’s body falls to the floor.

They stand together. They fight together and the bond they share vibrates with power and life. _Equal, protector, partner._

.

She should’ve known it was too good to last.

 _Only a year!_ She wants to yell at him as he offers her the galaxy. Instead, she goes for the lightsaber.

.

“Do you want to know?” She whispers in the darkness. She is glad for the anonymity it provides her, here in the bunk as she stares at the roof.

It’s been four months since Crait. She is still angry, but she had accidentally glanced at the mark in her arm while she showered. _Nine months, that’s all he has left._ Unwillingly, her heart softened.

She has stayed up more nights than she cared to admit, wondering about how he’d meet his fate. _A coup? An accident?_

The answer doesn’t come immediately, for a moment Rey believes he might be asleep.

“No. Do _you_?”

It’s easy to forget that her fate is written in his skin.

“No.”

Tentatively, a hand finds its way to her forearm. In the blackness of the night, the numbers are illegible and remain secret. He caresses the place where he guesses the mark is.

“Will I die tomorrow?”

Rey’s throat feels tight.

“No.”

“And the day after?”

“No.”

“Then there’s time.”

 _Not enough_ , she doesn’t dare to think, knowing he’ll sense it.

His hand moves to her wrist and he brings it to his face. She can feel his warmth breath close and then a kiss on her open palm. It burns behind her eyes.

“We shouldn’t waste the time we have.” He says boldly, but Rey feels the nervousness behind his words. _We shouldn’t._

“Then come to me. We’ll go away together.” His sins don’t matter, Rey is willing to overlook them. Her wrist is freed.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can!” Sometimes she thinks about blurting it out, the numbers might be enough to convince him that he’s trading a dangerous path. “Ben you won’t—“ the bond cuts her words.

\-- _live to see another year._

_._

He appears by her side one morning. Morning for her and night for him, as he’s deeply into sleep. Rey runs her fingers through his locks.

 _Five months_ , her mark warns.

She presses a kiss on his forehead. He wears a long-sleeved shirt, as usual. Curiosity claws at her, inciting her to do something she'll regret.

She never gets the chance to do it, for the bond fades away before she dares.

.

They never meet in battle, though their sides clash often enough.

Rey wonders if that how it ends. With each on one side of the galaxy, at the end of a cannon.

.

Rey throws a bottle of Corellian wine against the wall when her countdown stops showing months and begins to count the days.

_Thirty-one_

.

_Three weeks._

.

_Two weeks._

.

_A week._

.

_A day._

Mere hours. Rey hasn’t looked at her arm in a month, though it hardly matters as she keeps count in her head.

It feels wrong to go treasure hunting while he could be meeting his fate. She can hardly focus, the ire on her chest won’t even let her breathe.

They fight here, they fight there. Why must it end like this?

She feels it at the same time as he does.

Leia is gone. He doesn’t dodge. Rey stabs him.

Kylo Ren falls to his knees and she lands by his side.

 _Not yet,_ a voice whispers. Is it her conscience?

Rey heals him.

“I wanted to take your hand.” Take it and pull him towards her, so they could escape together and never see the end of it. “ _Ben_ ’s hand.”

.

He came for her.

.

Stand together, die together.

They do.

.

She is the one who dies first. Always the hero.

Ben Solo’s countdown reaches zero as he climbs from the pit.

_No._

Rey’s is still going, but he fails to see that as he brings her back.

One last sacrifice, the only one worthy.

There’s nothing but peace as she grows warm in his arms.

.

“Ben.”

She kisses him, and her arm tingles. He smiles against her.

She feels joyous, they’ve done it! They’ve cheated destiny!

Then there’s an eerie silence, he slips from her arms, he fades away.

_Death._

Rey screams. She wonders if the rest of the galaxy can hear her.

Her countdown reaches zero.

**Author's Note:**

> Well damn, this hurt.


End file.
